My Disappearing Act

For the past 2 months I've seemingly disappeared.  The truth is, I spent quite a bit of time in overwhelm with work and personal chores flying at me left and right.  We all end up in those periods in life where you're just so consumed with work that life and fun seems to fall by the wayside.  But for the second month I did a bit of traveling; visiting my dad at his new home in New England and doing my annual international trip with Jesse; this time to Iceland.

I'm obsessed with reflection.  I'm constantly thinking about what kind of story I want to tell with my photos.  What's the bigger picture?  For a good chunk of my unofficial hiatus this thought process was swirling in my brain.  I was able to take a step back and really assess my creative process.  How do I want to make people feel?  Gone are the days where taking a pretty photo does the job.  Heck, nearly anyone can take a great photo these days.  But the thing that takes the most time and personal development is the why.  What emotion are you capturing?  What story are you telling?  What legacy do you want to leave?

I used to constantly be on Instagram posting away, liking, commenting, and interacting.  But in the last year I've realized I lost sight of my message and who I am by trying to "fit in" to this strange world of social media.  I feel a lack of inspiration and a drive toward jealousy as if we're supposed to feel like we want that perfect breakfast or those perfect shoes.  We're meant to feel as though someone else's life is constantly a perfectly curated stack of photographs.  How I would love to travel as much as some of these Instagrammers seem to travel!

Day in and day out of these thoughts and suddenly my gratitude for my own life is swept away.  That's something I really despise because we all have such wonderful lives.  Someone who takes a photo of a perfectly laid out breakfast is not living a "better" life than you.  They just happen to feel the need to drop some cash on breakfast so they can take photos and get "likes"!  But what do likes actually mean in the bigger scheme of life?  When you're tending to your grandchildren 50years from now, will you tell them that story of how so-and-so re-grammed you and you got the most amount of "likes" ever?

I came to the realization that I hate making other people feel jealous.  I don't want people to think, "I wish I could travel like she does".  I want people to feel inspired and motivated to travel when they see my images.  All of my travels are completely obtainable!  You can travel there too and I WANT you to!  I share photos of places that have meaning to me because I want to inspire others to make their own memories there.  I want to bring these places to your attention so you can add them to your bucket list, too.  And if they're places you've already visited, I hope you can look at the photos fondly with your own memories flooding your head.

Even if there are a few people I affect, I want to spread more positivity into the world.  I want to make people feel good because you are enough.  Don't let social media or the internet make you feel otherwise. That's part of my bigger picture; part of my story and the legacy I want to leave. 


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